


I Hope You Can Forgive Me

by Lord_Byron_Mudkippington



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, F!Byleth, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22466674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington/pseuds/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington
Summary: Edelgard stands so close to Byleth, yet she feels so far away. Her course of action is right, but the regrets are never-ending.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 10
Kudos: 76





	I Hope You Can Forgive Me

**Author's Note:**

> There are spoilers for chapter nine here, so if you haven't gotten that far yet, I wouldn't recommend reading. I was going to work on a Senran Kagura fic, but I got to a certain point in 3H in my GD run and felt emotional about it. So, I really wanted to write something, and this is what I got. I normally wouldn't post something so short, but I like it enough to do so.

Edelgard stood outside the door to Jeralt's office, her back against the wall. She had seen Byleth enter the room over ten minutes ago, and there had been nothing but silence ever since. The desire to go in and say whatever she could to her beloved Professor was overwhelming, but so was the guilt that kept her rooted to the spot. Her Professor was in pain, and in a way, she was at fault. 

The wounds within their hearts from the death of Jeralt were still fresh. He was the most well-known knight in Garreg Mach: everybody had heard of his deeds, and so many of the students - and even other knights - looked up to him. Without his presence in the monastery, it felt strangely empty. Edelgard had never expected to feel this sort of loss, having known that lives would unfortunately be lost in their struggle. Then again, she had never expected to forge such a connection to someone within these walls.

Byleth had changed her perceptions. Her Professor had shown her care and compassion in so few words, but actions always spoke the loudest. Ever since the first day they met, where Byleth had saved her from those bandits, she had felt there was something special about her. The more time they spent together, the more those feelings were enforced. Now, after months together, it felt like they were more than professor and student. They were friends and confidants. She had told Byleth things she had never even felt comfortable speaking to Hubert about. It was unexpected, but it was wholly welcome.

That was why she was still standing outside Jeralt's office, her heart heavy with incredible guilt. Byleth's father had been stabbed in the back by someone that she was working with. Her cooperation with those slithers had never been her ideal scenario, but they would be helpful in taking down the scourge that was destroying Fódlan. It was a necessary evil, but that didn't make it any easier to swallow. How could she ever face her Professor again? Byleth didn't know her identity as the Flame Emperor, but if she ever found out... Their relationship might be broken beyond repair.

She swallowed thickly, placing a hand over her chest. Never had she felt this sort of trepidation before attempting to do something. Fighting bandits and trying to upend the Church of Serios felt like child's play compared to going into the door right next to her. How could she face Byleth when she knew in her heart that she had caused her Professor's sadness? It was something she needed to do, though. If nothing else, she at least owed it to the person she had come to care so much about to comfort her in her time of need.

It took more effort than she expected, but eventually she was able to knock on the door. A hoarse "Come in" came from inside, which was like a knife stabbing right into her heart. Steeling herself, she opened the door and stepped inside. Byleth was sitting at her father's desk, looking at what appeared to be a book. She didn't look up when Edelgard entered, but the sadness that permeated the room was overwhelming. Despite all of the courage she held, it nearly made her turn tail and run right back to her room.

"Professor." She closed the door behind her and started walking over toward Jeralt's desk. Byleth still didn't look up, but she closed the book she was reading and laid her arms over it. Though it made Edelgard curious, she knew better than to pry in that moment. "I... am terribly sorry for your loss. If there's anything I can do for you, I will do it. Even if it's just revenge, then I will fight by your side every step of the way." The knife that had stuck itself in her heart felt like it was being twisted with every word she spoke. It was all the truth, of course: the slithers that she reluctantly worked with would get their comeuppance in due time. When Fódlan was free of the influence of crests, she would do everything in her power to avenge the terrible atrocities that those monsters had committed. It wouldn't bring Byleth's father back, though.

"Thank you, Edelgard." Byleth finally turned to look up at her. She still appeared to be as impassive as ever, but Edelgard could see the sorrow in her eyes. Perhaps this was the first time that her emotions weren't hidden, and she hated that she had to see it. No... She hated that she was involved in bringing such emotions to her Professor's eyes. How could she ever forgive herself for doing this?

"Everyone in the Black Eagles stands behind you, no matter what." She put a hand on Byleth's shoulder, keeping it there despite the burning sensation she felt searing her palm. A drop of relief fell on her heart when she saw her Professor smile ever-slightly, but then she turned to stare at the wall: or, more accurately, into nothing. Only when she wasn't looking did Edelgard feel a tear trickle down her cheek.

She lifted a hand and wiped the tear away, silently cursing herself for being so weak when she needed to be strong. The true tragedy was that she understood her Professor's pain. She also had lost family members who were dear to her: all of her siblings were sacrificed so that she could hold the wretched crest that she coincidentally shared with the woman sitting in front of her. However, she had time to compartmentalize all of that hurt, though the nightmares never truly stopped haunting her. Byleth's pain was still fresh, and it would take time for even someone as stoic as her to heal.

As another tear fell from her eye, she swore that she would gain vengeance for Byleth. That was a promise she would refuse to break, no matter what. She would relish the ends of their lives for all the pain and suffering they had brought to the world, even if their goals did align with hers. However, she knew the hurt in Byleth's heart would always remain, no matter how much time would pass. She knew that feeling all too well. All she could do was continue on the course that she knew was right, and hope that her Professor would stay with her.

_'I hope that someday you can forgive me, my Teacher. Not every choice I've had to make is easy, and I just wish you didn't have to have been caught up in this.'_ Yet, if she hadn't gotten involved with their initial bandit plight, they may never have met, and she would've never known what an incredible person Byleth was. She knew now that life wasn't the same without her. Would she change the past to make the hurt go away? _Could_ she continue on in life without this wonderful woman at her side?

There had been few times in her life that she had questioned her own actions, and this was definitely one of them. She would make it right, though. No matter how long it took, she would make sure that justice was properly served. _'I must continue to walk down this path, my Teacher, even if we're someday separated.'_ She squeezed her shoulder, feeling more tears start to fall. This time, she didn't bother to wipe them away. Just this once, she would allow herself to cry. Not for herself, though, but for Byleth: for Jeralt and all those who needlessly lost their lives to the terrible world they lived in. Her tears - and her fight - would be for them.

_'Just know that no matter what, I will always love you.'_


End file.
